What if the hardest parts of your story are the very pieces someone else needs to hear to start healing?
This week on the Hard Beautiful Journey podcast, I had the absolute honour of sitting down with Julie Barth – a woman who has lived through more pain and perseverance than most of us can imagine. And yet, she still shows up with grace, purpose, and a heart that wants to help others not just survive, but truly rebuild.
Julie is a mother of six, a caregiver, a widow, a survivor of emotional and financial abuse, and the author of the incredibly moving memoir, Notes from a Blackberry. Her story is one of deep heartbreak—and even deeper healing.
Julie began chronicling her experience during the unimaginable: caring for her daughter with a rare genetic disorder while watching her husband battle terminal cancer. But she wasn’t using a laptop or journal—she was typing into a Blackberry.
That little keyboard became her lifeline.
With every click and tap, she documented the raw, unfiltered truth of her days—not for public release, but for her children. To remember their father’s strength. To honor their family’s fight. And to make sense of her own.
WATCH THE EPISODE ON SPOTIFY
After the loss of her first husband, Julie found herself in a second relationship that slowly stripped her of everything. Her health deteriorated. Her voice was silenced. Her light dimmed. She was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but when she eventually left the relationship, her body began to heal.
Julie told me that stress was stealing her breath. Her spirit was so weighed down by survival mode that she forgot what joy even felt like.
What’s incredible about Julie isn’t just that she survived. It’s that she took her story and built something with it.
She founded the Colin James Barth Outreach—a nonprofit that helps women-led households in crisis. Not with vague advice or surface-level encouragement, but with real, tangible, actionable steps. The kind she wishes someone had handed her when she didn’t know what to do next.
Julie wants women to know: you don’t have to prove your pain to be believed. And you don’t have to stay stuck just because others don’t understand your struggle.
WATCH THE EPISODE ON YOUTUBE
Julie’s faith has carried her through seasons where nothing else made sense. And she’s clear on the legacy she hopes to leave for her six kids:
She wants her children to grow up in a world where asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s a lifeline. Where community replaces shame. And where kindness isn’t optional.
If you’ve ever walked through grief, lost your identity in caregiving, or questioned your worth in an unhealthy relationship—this episode is for you.
Julie doesn’t sugarcoat anything. But she also doesn’t leave you in the dark.
She shows us what it means to Use Your Voice. To Love Your Story. To Ignite Your Gratitude. And ultimately, to find a path back home to yourself.
🎧 Listen to the full episode now and let this conversation be the gentle push you didn’t know you needed.
👉 Connect with Julie Barth
👉 Follow me on Instagram @iamtiffcarson
And if you know someone who needs this episode… forward it to them. We never know who we’re holding a light for.
Julie Barth Interview
[00:00:00] Welcome to Hard, beautiful journey where we embrace vulnerability as our superpower and let courage light our path. I’m Tiff Carson here to share heartfelt stories of healing, grief, and resilience. Each week I’ll talk with guests from experts to everyday heroes about their journeys through adversity.
Together we’ll uncover the beauty that emerges from life’s challenges and how each experience can spark profound growth. Join us on this courageous journey of connection and transformation.
01 Main Mic: Have you ever asked yourself. How much more can one heart take?
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Or
01 Main Mic: what would it take for me to start over? My guest today is Julie Barth. Julie didn’t just ask those questions. She lived them as a mother of six, [00:01:00] including a daughter with complex medical needs. She lost her first husband to cancer, and just when she thought the worst had passed, she found herself enduring emotional and financial abuse in her second marriage. But what Julie chose to do next is what Will stay with you. She wrote through it. She built a nonprofit to help women in crisis, and she turned her own story into a lifeline for others who feel stuck in survival mode. In today’s conversation, we’ll walk with Julie through the fire and witness how she’s helping others rise from the ashes. Through the lens of the Healing Heart journey, you’ll see how courage, clarity, and community can help us reclaim our power. So before we begin, let’s ask ourselves what part of our story I. Are we still surviving instead of healing? Because by the end of this episode, [00:02:00] you might feel ready to take that first step toward reclaiming your life. Welcome to the podcast, Julie. How are you?
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22 Guest 1: I am good. How are you? Thank you for having me.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: you for having me.
01 Main Mic: I am really looking forward to our conversation, especially after the stuff to get here. Oh my goodness. It’s one of those tech days. So thank you for your patience with me.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: me.
22 Guest 1: Not a problem.
01 Main Mic: I know I just shared a bit of your journey in my intro, but if you had just two minutes to look someone in the eyes and say, this is who I am and why I do what I do, what would you say to them?
I.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: I.
22 Guest 1: Um, I always, gravitate toward the mom first. Um, I am the mother of six, and I think that, you know, if someone were to say what defines you, that would probably, uh, be it. Um, but I, I
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22 Guest 1: had a husband that I married, um, and I thought, we had the greatest love [00:03:00] ever. Um, we raised a special needs daughter
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22 Guest 1: he passed away from cancer. Um, that I got into a really bad relationship as, as you talked about, and, um, I think there were many times along the way that I could have given up. I could have, um, you know, felt sorry for myself or just,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: it,
it, I
22 Guest 1: walked away from everything. Um, but it was truly looking in my children’s eyes and seeing truly how blessed I am in having that.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: that.
22 Guest 1: That continued to push me forward. Um, and then after getting through all of the different things that I went through, um, I felt like when you go through hard times, you have two choices. You can, choose to grieve them forever, or you can choose to taking them. Take the meaninglessness of them and make something positive out of it.
So, after all of that, uh, I went and opened up a charity to try and help people who have been in the many stages of me because there have been many mes in trouble in my adult life. [00:04:00] And I think one of the hardest things is not even knowing what you need when you get there. So. I’m trying to kind of provide hacks to women for these different situations you get yourself into.
’cause I think, you know, services are out there, but if you can’t find them, then they’re not services. So,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Mm-hmm.
22 Guest 1: that,
um, me in a nutshell.
01 Main Mic: So you have chosen to speak about some things that many people keep hidden, like grief or abuse or caregiving struggles. What helped you to find that courage? To stop whispering start telling the truth out loud once and for all.
22 Guest 1: I think that, the grief alone was horrible. It was 16 months of taking care of my husband after four years of trying to get my daughter to a place where she could live. So, you know, I, I was taught early on. My mother is, um, a Catholic, she’s very independent and I was taught to, deal with it.
Hide it. [00:05:00] Don’t accept help, be independent. And I did that for many, many years. Um, which I think was the cause of me getting into my second relationship, which was a decade of, know, just hiding everything and, and worrying so much about, um, if it was my fault or.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: or.
22 Guest 1: what people would think about me or what people would say.
And it kept me stuck in this perpetual, um, I wasn’t living my life. I was living a life, um, to try to prove to everybody that I was a good person and that I was a good mom. And I guided a whole bunch of my decisions based around.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: around.
22 Guest 1: truly what other people would think of me.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: And
22 Guest 1: push came to shove and I, I ended up getting out of the second marriage, I recognized that I had to let go of those people. You know, it was almost like I was on this constant apology tour trying to prove to people that I wasn’t crazy, that I was a nice person. That, and then all of a sudden I just recognized that it didn’t.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Really
22 Guest 1: It didn’t matter. Um, you know, you [00:06:00] can’t stay stuck in a life where you’re so unhappy just ’cause you’re so afraid of what other people are going to think or how they’re going to view you.
Because if you’re okay with you and you know that you’ve done your best, that’s really all that you can do. Um, because trying to find, validation in other people
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Is,
22 Guest 1: an
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: it
22 Guest 1: empty, you know, is it’s really just an empty road because you’ll never find it. The only person that you really have to worry about.
Um, liking is yourself. And I know that that’s such a cliche thing, it’s, it’s really true.
01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.
22 Guest 1: and when you,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: you,
22 Guest 1: it kind of takes all the baggage off of how you feel and, and the things you’ve done, and you, and you learn to heal and, you know, forgive yourself to whatever extent you can.
01 Main Mic: So I have written a memoir and you have written a memoir, and yours is called Notes from a Blackberry, which I gotta tell you. That title immediately took me back to the days when I had one and those [00:07:00] tiny buttons that clicked and clicked and clicked and the small screen.
How
did writing into that tiny screen become a survival tool for you?
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: I.
22 Guest 1: Well, , so we would go down to keep my, when my husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer, he was given two weeks to live. So we had four children at the time, and I was just coming off of trying to save, um, my daughter Tatum, who uh. has Primordial Dwarfism and we had been through four or five years of going to so many hospitals and malpractice and you know, I think she died in front of me three or four times to be revived when I would just bring her in for checkup kind of thing, just
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: wrong.
So
22 Guest 1: he was, I thought it was gonna be a time for us to like connect um, but it wasn’t, he was very, very sick. So I had a blackberry. And for some reason I just kind of felt this, I a compulsion to unpack everything I had been through with Tatum. So, you know, I [00:08:00] wasn’t a writer at the time, but I just felt like that it needed to be chronicled, if not for me, for our children.
And then it naturally flowed into my time with Colin and I never meant to release it into the universe. But, um, it was more really ’cause I wanted my children to know of his courage and our story. ’cause you know, you have these things that you go through you, you’re so happy they’re behind you
you tend to, it’s like childbirth.
You forget them and it’s great that you forget them because you can move on and, and do other things. But there are some things that shouldn’t be forgotten. And I think all the courage and the challenges that Tatum and Colin went through were just ones that, you know, I, I think have a place for people to hopefully take from their spirit. So yeah, the little clickety clack was kind of to waste my time. Um, and it turned into, what I would do is I would write the story and then I would email it back to myself and. At the end of it [00:09:00] all, I, pieced it all together and I let it sit on my computer for 10 years. Uh,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Uh,
22 Guest 1: didn’t read it. I didn’t, I couldn’t.
Um, so it just kind of sat there until I read it. And then I remembered everything because as I said, I was so immersed in the second relationship that I forgot how much I had gone through in the first, so.
01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. So when was it when you were reading that on your computer that you realized your story
wasn’t just
painful, but that it was powerful and could help somebody else? I.
22 Guest 1: I think, my daughter, like I said, is um, she’s a little person. She’s 24 and, and she became a self-taught artist and, um, , she lost her voice and she actually ended up getting cancer after everything resolved when she was 13, which is part two. Um, but I think when I saw her art and I thought, wow, you know, that’s really good. Um, and then I recognized the struggle of [00:10:00] where she was and the fact that she was never supposed to walk. She
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: She
22 Guest 1: was never supposed to talk. And here she was, still 24, um, just. Just making a life for herself and doing everything she can to be a light to the world. So it just all came together.
Um, I built a website for her art
and I thought for people to truly appreciate her art, um, they should know all that she’s persevered through
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22 Guest 1: just, um. When I released it or when I gave it to people originally,
their resounding um, feedback was, well,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: well,
22 Guest 1: I didn’t realize how, how lonely you were,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: and
22 Guest 1: didn’t see myself as lonely.
I never recognized myself as lonely. And I thought, well, if that’s what they could get out of it. Then maybe they will look at other people who are in caregiving roles a little differently, or if they’re reading it and they are a caregiver, understand that they’re not alone. That those are, you know, normal feelings or natural things that you feel when you’re in these situations that you have to push through.
It’s not like you can just wave the red [00:11:00] flag and say like, okay, I’m out. Um. So
that’s when I hoped that releasing it all, it’s not a,
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22 Guest 1: I think it’s a love story. Um, I hope that people take the, a lot of good out of it. I know it’s a sad story as well, but I just felt as if there’s, you know, there’s definitely a, in community and understanding that you’re not alone.
Um, there’s a lot of strength to be had in that.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Hmm, Hmm.
01 Main Mic: One of the pillars in my Healing Heart journey is called Honor Your Body,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: and
01 Main Mic: you lived in constant survival mode for.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: for
01 Main Mic: A long time through grief, caregiving,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: um,
01 Main Mic: abuse,
what toll did that take on your body and how did you begin to come back to yourself physically?
22 Guest 1: Um, well, after my first T
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: testament
22 Guest 1: and I got into the second relationship, I was a runner , like I was one of those crazy runners, 10, you know, 10 plus miles every other day. And, and it got me through everything I went through with Colin and, and. When I got into the second [00:12:00] relationship, suddenly, like I, I couldn’t run anymore.
I just, I couldn’t breathe and moving was painful. Um, I went to see several doctors. I was taking all kinds of muscle relaxers to get outta bed and, and truly just like, it felt like something was sitting on my chest and, um, where I was once running 10 miles, I, I don’t even think I could run to the mailbox at a certain point.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Right.
22 Guest 1: So, you know, they diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. And um, and I did have, ironically, um, after I got divorced or separated, um, for a significant amount of time, I was back to running five miles. Um, then it was six, then it was seven, then I could breathe again. And it was a pretty immediate, within like six months.
And I went to see a, um, my orthopedic surgeon and he basically said to me like, I thought you were, I thought you were a little crazy. And.
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22 Guest 1: You
know, he is like, ’cause you kept coming in with all these symptoms, and he’s like, but your spine was twisted. And there were physical attributes. Like I could see [00:13:00] where it really was something was going on, but I couldn’t find any cause for it. Um, so that really was an eyeopener because he was like, you kept complaining about stuff, but I couldn’t find any origins of it. And, um, now I think I better understand, um, how the body can just shut down and how all that. Stress and the toxicity of our relationship and feeling so just squashed all the time.
Truly just, you know, it stole my breath. It stole that light that you have in your chest. It was like somebody put it
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: it.
01 Main Mic: In the darkest season of your life, what were the smallest sparks of gratitude that helped you keep going?
22 Guest 1: I really do think, like I said, and I hate to keep pounding on the mother aspect. Um, but anytime my children would smile or just to see them accomplish something that was enough to keep me going and it allowed me to like almost tunnel into just those moments and let everything else go for whatever short period of time that was.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: [00:14:00] Mm-hmm.
01 Main Mic: I know in my deepest, deepest grief, I honestly never thought that I was gonna feel joy again in any way. Uh, after I lost my brother and when my marriage ended, I honestly just felt hopeless. In the joy category, was there a moment for you when you felt the same, and when did that spark of joy come back for you?
22 Guest 1: Um, I think it was separate, um, when it was, um, my first husband and I was going through the grief, it was, it was a different kind of feeling because I almost didn’t wanna feel joy. I felt as if feeling joy.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: joy.
Now
22 Guest 1: that he wasn’t here anymore and for me to just move on and be happy,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: um,
22 Guest 1: in some way not honoring him. So I, I do think, you know, and then getting into the second relationship, um, it was joyful, but there was still that piece of me that felt bad for being joyful and then there was no joy. [00:15:00]
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: So, um.
22 Guest 1: I, I just remember thinking at a certain point that I had to stop focusing on the loss of Colin and forgive myself for things that happened, and the only way to find that joy would really just be to, to kind of left myself off the hook because no matter what my second
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: second
22 Guest 1: husband had done, it was really me who was keeping myself back, not anyone else.
01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. So you created a nonprofit to support other women that are in households that are in crisis like you were with your second husband.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Why
01 Main Mic: community such a vital part of your healing process, and what kind
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: what
01 Main Mic: of community were you craving
to
help you start over?
22 Guest 1: Um, I think that. Um, the hardest part, well, my, my first husband, we had an entire, um, you know, the, the entire town knew us, so the community was very.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Helpful in
22 Guest 1: us pay our bills and they really never [00:16:00] let us get to a position where I really felt scared that I wasn’t gonna be able to feed my children.
There were four, four little ones at that point. So I was very grateful to them for that point. And I always wanted to give back because I know that we were very blessed in having that entire community. We had both grown up in the same town. We knew people, um, and a lot of people. So I kind of had always had that in the back of my head that.
There are people that would be in that situation that might not have those.
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22 Guest 1: Um, I think
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: think
22 Guest 1: second relationship
it was, it was a different kind because I, I feel like I probably, I.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: I.
22 Guest 1: More push people away than people left. I think there was a certain point where, it was easier to push people away because they all wanted me to grieve and I wasn’t ready to, so I didn’t wanna be me.
I just got up and left and decided I was just gonna move on and be somebody different. And then when things went south, I didn’t have anyone there with me. I had lost all my [00:17:00] family back at home. I had lost my friends because I was trying so hard to hide stuff, and it was, it was shameful.
So, the charity really does hopefully hit on many different components of, of grief and loss.
Um, I think. Where a lot of my passion lays is to try and get women who are in these emotional abuse situations, um, the courage to say I’m out. I don’t care how it looks to other people. I don’t care what people say about me. I don’t care what their opinions are of me. And I think sometimes that just takes one person to be on your side and give you, okay, you need to A, B, and C and look out for this in an actionable plan. Because I think, when you’re so grief stricken or so in tunnel visioned into a situation that you feel you can’t get out of, until somebody, until you come up with a plan, it seems so.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Undo,
22 Guest 1: that’s, you can’t do it. So, uh, really my goal is to help people who hit crisis have a plan.
Um, you know, ’cause I think that once you [00:18:00] can turn all of it into action, that’s where the change happens. Um, but you do need those actionable steps. And when you’re looking at the big picture, it’s so much that you kind of get overwhelmed and you think, I can’t do it. But when you take it.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: it. And
22 Guest 1: And you put it into stages and this is what you need to do, and you give people, okay, go talk to this person, do this, do this. Um, when you turn it into action, you just gain so much more power over the situation than feeling helpless all the time.
01 Main Mic: How does that make you feel in your heart and your soul when you see the people that you are helping and them follow those steps?
22 Guest 1: It makes my entire journey feel a lot less meaningless. Um, think we all know those people in our our lives where you’re like, again, you know, like if something happens to them and you’re like again.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Um, so I
22 Guest 1: that feeling.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: like
22 Guest 1: not just that again or [00:19:00] unfortunate. Um, really it, it heals me and it it makes me feel like
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: There’s a
22 Guest 1: a
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: purpose
22 Guest 1: for everything I’ve been through.
There’s a reason why I had to go through it, and it’s a
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: a,
22 Guest 1: not a bad one. I.
01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. So I, I think that there’s spiritual wisdom in how you live and write. How has your faith or spiritual practices guided you through the worst times of your life?
22 Guest 1: Um, I was raised Catholic, but I think I am, I would call myself more spiritual than I would any kind of formal religion and I just feel as if, um, I. We all have a plan here. There’s a reason why we’re here.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Um, there’s
22 Guest 1: purpose in it and sometimes it gets, it takes getting beyond whatever you’re going through to see why you had to go through it and, you know, understanding that okay, something really bad happened. I.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: I made, and I.
22 Guest 1: I can then be a vector for [00:20:00] somebody else to make their burdens less. Really, like I said, it just makes me feel like I’m a part of something bigger than just me. Um, and my tragedy or, or whatever it is. Um, I had, so when Tatum, just a short story. When Tatum was a baby, um, she. Had a trach and the insurance company wouldn’t pay for her to come out of the hospital. So I had to fight, you know, all the insurance companies and they were saying, oh, you can take care of her. And she was stuck in the, in the nicu and I couldn’t get her out. So I got busy and I was on the Channel five news, you know, going after the insurance company and had this big, you know, feature. And of course nothing came of it.
She came home, but it wasn’t because of anything we had done, but I was hooked up with another woman. Um, who was friends with one of my friends and I didn’t know her or anything, but she called me and her son had just gotten a Trach.
When I talked to her, I told her that she would have to get nursing care and it was gonna be a big deal and she said, oh no, I don’t have to worry about that. There was some woman that was on the news, um, [00:21:00] six, about six months ago, and she, um, was going after the insurance company and now they’ve made it mandatory that children with trachs get nursing care without fighting the insurance companies. So it was just kind of my way of. Of understanding that what I did might not have helped me in that situation, but it did help other people that come after. And I, I think that’s an important thing for us all to remember that, like I said, we, we wanna put our tragedy behind us. We don’t wanna acknowledge it, we wanna, you know, just let it go.
But I think that the true powers found in examining how you got through it and how you can save somebody else. Whether that’s just mentoring or changing something, you know, I think it’s. So easy for everyone, especially in the political atmosphere that we’re talking about, to just say, if it doesn’t affect me, I don’t need to worry about it.
Um, at some point it might affect you, and if it does affect you, go the extra mile to try and create change for other people.
01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. Um, I’d like to go [00:22:00] back to your second marriage. Were there any early signs that you now recognize as red flags that you would like other women to identify with in, in their relationships?
22 Guest 1: Yeah, I think, it was a perfect storm for me and I have several women that I’ve helped over the past couple months, what I’m seeing as a trend is that when women go through grief loss, you know, like a, a woman that I’m working with, she lost her mother who, who had Lou Gehrig’s and right coming off of that bounce right into this relationship.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: um,
22 Guest 1: with a man that she’s now trying to get away from. And my experience was that I got together with somebody when everyone else was trying to get me to slow down to live in the grief, to process it. A lot of everyone, you know, you’re not, you haven’t grieved, and I had been stuck in it for 16 months.
I felt like I had grieved already and I just wanted to move forward. So I found this [00:23:00] man who.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: who.
22 Guest 1: You know, he seemed the perfect solution. He didn’t care about me. He didn’t wanna know how I felt. He didn’t want me to talk about my problems. In fact, he was just fine in me not feeling anything, abandoning, everything that was
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: uncomfortable
22 Guest 1: life. Not challenging. In fact, really didn’t want me to talk about me at all. And it seemed to be such a freeing thing until, fast forward a couple years when I’m ready to process and grieve and I need someone at my side. And it was like
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: he,
22 Guest 1: I realized that we didn’t ever really have a relationship.
Our relationship was avoiding, um, reality and, and big problems. And, And, I would say that one of the biggest red flags is
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: is
22 Guest 1: somebody allows you.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: I
22 Guest 1: To not, if they don’t challenge you, if they don’t, you know? Um, he never celebrated my successes. He didn’t want me to have successes. Um, if I was sad, it was a problem to him.
It, it, it interrupted his day.
01 Main Mic: Hmm.
22 Guest 1: [00:24:00] Somebody who wants to hear how you feel, who cares about what’s going on with you, who checks in with you, and when things go wrong, who’s ready to support you. And you know, I know that we all have different ways of dealing with crises. Colin and I were very good at coming together and fighting for Tatum together. But you know, when Tatum got cancer and I was in my second marriage, um, I was at the hospital alone. I was. Juggling the kids on my own. And he was nowhere. It was, it was inconvenient for him. And where that was very alluring upfront because of how I was feeling and what I was dealing with. Um, you know, it was not so alluring after the fact.
So I think that
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: one
22 Guest 1: very important lesson is truly feel like you’ve
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: like you’ve
22 Guest 1: healed before you make any major life decisions. And people used to say like, oh, don’t date within a year. Well, I didn’t, but a year was
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: not
22 Guest 1: not enough.
01 Main Mic: Hmm.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: And.
22 Guest 1: Taken the time and allowed myself to feel sad for a bit because I didn’t want to, I didn’t want my kids to feel sad.
I [00:25:00] didn’t wanna feel sad, so I just took something that felt really good at the time. But sometimes those things that feel really good at a certain point, it that doesn’t mean they’re good for us.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: us.
01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. So you have transformed so much pain into purpose. What’s the legacy you hope to leave for your six kids and for every woman who hears your story.
22 Guest 1: Well, I have two boys and four girls, so I think that boy wise, I hope that my legacy will be that they understand, um, to be supportive of the, the women in their lives. You know, me, their kid, their, you know, I have a grand baby now.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Um,
22 Guest 1: would be the biggest legacy that I would, um, want. From my boys. Um, for my girls, I, I want them to be independent and strong, but I also want them to understand that being strong does not mean that you have to handle everything on your own. Um, you know, I think as women you have a really hard time [00:26:00] asking for help. We have a really hard time showing vulnerability and weakness. Um, we’re taught to be the breadwinners, but we’re also taught to be vulnerable. We’re taught. You know that you can do it all yourself. Um, but yet we have all these barriers in a way where we can’t do it ourselves.
You know, I found myself in a situation where I had been a stay at home mom, and I lost, um, Colin and I would try and get a job, and everyone was like, well, where’s your work experience? And I was like,
I, I,
just raised four kids. And if that’s not, you know, but nobody could translate that to true work experience and it made me feel as if you know the importance that should be placed on parenting and being a wife and being a support system in our society, seems to feel lesser than. And I hope that through some of the work that I’m doing, I can change that mindset because if there’s, I don’t know what’s more important than raising the next generation of secure, very well adjusted, um, cared for [00:27:00] and kind
people. And if we don’t focus our attention there, then the next generation and the generation after that, it’s just a downfall. So I hope my legacy is to teach community and kindness and to do away with shame and guilt and this feeling like you have to hide or take care of everything on your own.
01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm. I know that there are gonna be so many people that
want
to get in touch with you and reach out to you. This is where you can find Julie. She’s at www.juliebarthauthor.com.
What can my listeners find when they go to your website and how can you work with them?
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: them?
22 Guest 1: So if you go to my website, I have, um, several different tabs. There’s a tab for the CJB outreach, which is our charity. Um, you can click on there, get involved, sign up for a newsletter. There’s also a [00:28:00] tab. Uh, my daughter’s website is called Hope for Tate, and she does artwork and all of her artwork.
Um, a proceed of the sales go to fund the charity. So if you go there, you like any of her art, um, you know, you, you can take any of our art and put it on any of the products. Um, I do have a special request. If you go onto Facebook and you follow Hope4Tayt then her store will be visible. ’cause we don’t have enough followers right now.
But, um,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: um.
01 Main Mic: Everybody mean.
on and follow Hope4Tayt on
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: That’s
01 Main Mic: Facebook.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: do. Yeah. Um,
22 Guest 1: But really, if you’re interested in getting involved, I think that at some point I will be trying to work on legislative parts of women in systematic ways that, um, we’re just not evaluated the way we should.
And economic and financial abuse and emotional, sorry, they’re, they’re not recognized as abuse in the United States and that needs change.
So that’s kind of where.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: of where
22 Guest 1: anyone
would like to get involved in, in that aspect as well. You can reach out to me when you send a message to any of those sites. They’re all going to [00:29:00] me. Um, you don’t have a huge organization, so it’s just me.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: me.
And
01 Main Mic: they find your books there as well?
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: well?
22 Guest 1: Uh, yes, my, well my first book is, was out in,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: in,
22 Guest 1: um, last April and there’s actually an audio version, which I’m really proud of.
01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.
22 Guest 1: my second.
Released later this fall. I’m not sure exactly when. Um, and then, there my blog’s there so you can read about some of the things that I’ve been through.
01 Main Mic: So
one of the pillars, uh, other pillars of the healing heart journey is gratitude.
And I
call it ignite your gratitude, because I honestly believe that even in our hardest season that there’s usually
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: a flicker
01 Main Mic: of light that we can be grateful for.
So
What are you grateful for today? this moment.
22 Guest 1: I am grateful that I have, um, my children, knock on wood, um, are happy and healthy and, you know, I’m just grateful every day that I wake up my very worst day today
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: day
22 Guest 1: a hundred [00:30:00] percent better than my very best day for a decade. So I’m grateful that I finally was able to break free from the situation I was in.
Um, and
I’m grateful
that I’m hopefully helping other people to do the same and wake up every morning not feeling that pressure and
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: just, it’s a horrible
22 Guest 1: way to feel trapped. So
I’m grateful if I can help other people do that, which hopefully I am.
01 Main Mic: Mm-hmm.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: Julie,
01 Main Mic: you so much for being so open and so honest today, and I
believe that your story is a masterclass in resilience, and what I love most is that you. Just didn’t survive. You also turned your pain into purpose,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: and
01 Main Mic: you’re helping other women find their way back to themselves too, to everyone that’s listening.
If you’re walking through something right now, whether it’s grief, a hard relationship, or just the [00:31:00] quiet kind of lonely, you’re not alone, and I hope that Julie’s story reminded you that even in the mess,
there is meaning,
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: even
01 Main Mic: in the breaking, there’s rebuilding. Thank you again, Julie, for
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: being
01 Main Mic: this podcast and sharing your story and being a light for other people in the world.
We need them more than ever right now, so
22 Guest 1: Well, thank you.
01 Main Mic: much.
22 Guest 1: Thank you for having me and telling my story. I appreciate it.
Ecamm Live Recording on 2025-07-08 at 09.06: it.
01 Main Mic: Until
next time, friends, keep walking your hard, beautiful journey. Bye-bye.
Thanks for being here for this episode of Hard, beautiful Journey. I hope today’s episode inspired you to embrace your own vulnerabilities and recognize the strength within you. Remember, every story of resilience adds to the beauty of our shared journey. If you enjoyed this episode, please like, [00:32:00] subscribe, and leave a review.
Your support helps me spread hope and healing to even more listeners. Until next time, I. Keep shining your light and embracing the beauty in your journey. Bye-bye.
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