Today we welcome Dr. Jody Carrington, who provides some valuable insight on disconnection; and the emotional dysregulation that our adolescents face as a result of the pandemic.
Dr. Jody Carrington is a renowned psychologist sought after for her expertise, energy, and approach to helping people solve their most complex human-centered challenges. Jody focuses much of her work around reconnection which she believes to be the key to healthy relationships.
As a speaker, author, and leader of Carrington & Company, she uses her twenty-year career as a psychologist to empower everyone. Jody has worked with kids, families, business leaders, first responders, teachers, and farmers and has spoken in church basements and world-class stages, sharing the message that our power lies in our ability to acknowledge each other first.
Dr. Jody Carrington’s approach is authentic and often hilarious. In this episode, she speaks passionately about how reconnection is the answer to so many of the root problems. She says we are wired to do hard things but never meant to do it alone.
Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
- Dr. Jody Carrington explains why we’re more disconnected than ever.
- Discover why adolescents are the ones paying the biggest price following the pandemic.
- Get some great advice as a teenager’s parent during these challenging times.
Episode Highlights
Who is Dr. Jody Carrington
- Dr. Jody Carrington is a renowned psychologist with a Ph.D. in clinical psychology.
- She is a speaker, author, and leader of Carrington & Company.
- Her popular book, Kids These Days, was published in 2019 and has sold 150,000 copies worldwide.
- Jody lives in small-town Olds, Alberta, with her husband and three children.
We’re more disconnected than ever
- We underestimate how disconnected we are as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.
- Adults have been in a heightened state of arousal for such a long time.
- We’re coming off two years of disconnection and dysregulation, the primary ingredients for a mental health pandemic.
Children are paying the highest price
- Adolescents have paid the highest price in this COVID journey.
- Their independence and ability to step out into the world and mess up has been thwarted for the physical safety of the community.
- They have missed two critical developmental years.
Dysregulation in adolescents
- In this process, they have not been able to learn how to regulate or reach out or navigate hard things.
- We need to adjust our expectations as we can expect them to be immature and dysregulated.
- This needs to be normalized among parents and teachers; we can’t just expect them to get back on track. We need to pump the brakes.
What she’s seeing in teens
- We have never been this disconnected as a globe, and we’re wired for connection. It’s how kids learn that they matter.
- We can’t tell kids how to regulate – we have to show them.
- When it comes to emotional dysregulation, we see a rise in anxiety and depression when their needs aren’t caught.
- This is playing out in the data we’re receiving.
Advice for parents of teenagers
- Often we want to fix our kids, but Dr. Jody Carrington says she rarely sees kids.
- The best advice she can give is that parents need to look after themselves.
- When they’re okay, their babies are OK. If they’re not okay, their kids don’t stand a chance.
- It takes a village to raise a child, so kids need to have places to go.
Teachers matter
- Educators spend more waking hours a day with our children than we do.
- Sadly, they’re poorly funded and poorly compensated.
- Children are likely to open up to someone other than a parent; they just want to be seen and heard.
- The best thing we can do is love our teachers as they play a significant role.
What can be done in schools
- Dr. Jody Carrington agrees that emotional, sexual, and financial health should be important in the school curriculum.
- Currently, there is no standardization of mental health programs in schools.
- 72% of all mental health issues in adulthood will be present by grade 12.
- Therefore, having a solid mental health component in the educational system is vital for the longevity of our children.
The Reconnect Program
- Dr. Jody Carrington has designed a university-level online program.
- It’s a mental health program that is trauma-informed and relationship-focused.
- It caters to children and educators.
- She hopes it becomes a standardized program in school divisions across North America.
Be the one to reach in
- People are quick to say if you need someone to talk to, I’m here to listen.
- Dr. Jody Carringtonn says that the most debilitating thing about mental illness is that you can’t reach out.
- It’s crucial to reach in and create a safe space so that they can open up.
- Showing vulnerability is vital so that you can lead the way for them to do the same.
Her opinion of addiction
- Dr. Jody Carrington thinks that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety; it’s connection.
- Often, there is so much shame in dropping the ball that it’s easier to numb it out.
- It’s difficult to know how much you matter in the middle of addiction.
Proximity and generational differences
- Two generations ago, the square footage of the houses was much smaller.
- If someone were struggling or losing their mind, the closeness of proximity would allow for eyes to be on that person.
- In the modern era, proximity has decreased significantly, reduced to text.
- COVID-19 has further exacerbated this problem.
Gratitude practice for kids
- Gratitude is a loaded word and can be associated with eating kale and doing yoga.
- She recommends that you make it sexy for teens when asking them to express gratitude.
- An example could be highs and lows or happy and crappy.
- It’s good to encourage them to practice and be conscious.
We have to reconnect on purpose
- Back in the day, there were no iPads or Netflix.
- Many people didn’t have TVs so the board games would come out after dinner.
- There is very little connection in homes, and Dr. Jody Carrington says we will need to reconnect on purpose.
- It’s not going to be easy, but we have to become more intentional about this.
What Jody is grateful for
- Dr. Jody Carrington says she is surrounded by the best people and is grateful for her life-giving relationships.
3 Powerful Quotes from this Episode
08:27 – “Fundamentally, we have never been this disconnected as a globe.”
10:17 – “So it’s a function of a trend that we were going towards before the pandemic, and the pandemic has expedited that because the only way we know we matter is when we look into other people’s eyes when we are face to face.”
10:53 – “We’re struggling to name our emotions, and we’re struggling to stay connected. We would much rather email somebody or text somebody or, you know, watch Netflix at night rather than sit down and look at our partners.”
Connect with Dr. Jody Carrington
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Tiff
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