Today is going to be a solo episode – just me and you. I’ve got so much to say about the topic being discussed today, and that is…..
SOCIAL MEDIA
To be quite honest it’s hard to remember a time when we didn’t have social media. And I’m not really sure how I feel about that. So let’s get into this.
I’m going to be very transparent right now. At the beginning of January I was contacted by a social media growth company…..there are tons of those around. Basically what they do is grow the number of people that follow your account. For the longest time I was ignoring these companies relentless emails and DM’s. Then one day I thought, what the hell, let’s just see what they can actually do and if it’s worth it. I’m working on building my soul coaching business and why not have more people seeing my offers. But….this doesn’t align with me and I knew it right away. I have always said, I want to grow my social media “followers” organically….meaning…..I want you to be interested in my content because you like it and not because someone pushed you onto me.
Intuition is an amazing thing. Like I said, I knew right away it wasn’t what I should be doing. But, I stuck with it for a couple weeks and did see my followers grow. Did it make me happy. No. Because I knew they didn’t find me organically.
Then, one morning I woke up to an email that said my Instagram password had been changed and I was locked out of my account. That was the start of me realizing I needed to step away from social media. Why?
Well, it took sooooo much effort to try and get back into my account. You have to prove it’s you by sending video’s of your face and then you wait for them to get back to you. For 3 full days I waited….and was pissed off. I remember there were moments that I was vibrating I was so mad that I couldn’t get in and post stuff or see what others were posting. I rationalized this anger by telling myself “I’m building a business and how am I supposed to do that when I can’t get in my own f’in account?”
I finally got back in and I was a very happy woman. I felt whole again, as RIDICULOUS as that sounds. So I continued on my merry way with posting stuff on a daily basis.
Then Covid hit and it kicked my butt. I was so sick and unable to do much of anything let alone worry about social media. There were some others personal things going on that set me back too which made me not interested in sharing anything about my life. It was while laying in bed sicker than a dog that I decided……it’s finally time to take an extended break from all things social media. It’s time to step back and reevaluate what I want to do in these spaces and my intentions for using it. Setting intentions is a big deal for me right now and it’s a game changer. When I set an intention for what I want to accomplish, I find I am more focused and accomplish what I set out to do.
On the day that I decided to take this social media break, I was reading a post on my friend Riley Instagram account and it was like my angels said… “Stop…read this one. It’s for you.”
What did my friend post? She shared a write up from a gentleman named David Whyte called “Withdrawal”. I’m going to read it as it may resonate with some of you too.
Withdrawal
….can be a very positive way of stepping forward and done well, a beautiful freeing act of mercy and as a human behavioural art form, underestimated in this time of action and engagement. So much of what we are involved with, in even the highest cause, becomes involvement at the busy periphery, where the central conversation has been lost to the outer edges of what was to begin with, a very simple central invitation.
Withdrawal is often not what it looks like – disappearance – no, to withdraw from entanglement can be to appear again in the world in a very real way and begin the process of renewing the primary, essential invitation again.
Though life does seem determined to be a beautiful, and entrancing distraction – just as we ourselves are a distraction to others, testing them as we test ourselves and our mutual sincerity – our participation this dance of distraction also makes more real, and more necessary, our ability to return to essential ground, to an essential person or an essential work.
We stick to the wrong thing quite often, not because it will come to fruition by further effort, but because we cannot let go of the way we have decided to tell the story and we become further enmeshed even by trying to make sense of what entraps us, when what is needed is a simple, clean breaking away. To remove ourselves entirely and absolutely, abruptly and at times uncompromisingly is often the real and radically courageous break for freedom.
Unsticking ourselves from the mythical TAR BABY, seemingly set up, just for us, right in the middle of our path; we start the process of losing our sense of falsity, of ridding ourselves of illusions, of letting go of our self manufactured enemies, and even our false friends, and most especially the false sense of self we have manufactured to live with them: we make ourselves available for the simple purification of seeing ourselves and our world more elementally and therefore more clearly again.
We withdraw not to disappear, but to find another ground from which to see; a solid ground from which to step, and from which to speak again, in a different way, a clear, rested, embodied voice we begin to remember again as our own.
When I read this, I knew without a doubt I was meant to read it and that it was time. But before I hit the delete button on the apps, I went through my Instagram account and did a major purge. At one point I was following over 2000 people. That is over 2000 energies I had in front of me as I scrolled aimlessly. It’s a lot.
I set about deleting anyone that I knew I didn’t want to see anymore and first on the list were MANY celebrity accounts. There are a few I kept because I really like them and their energy. I also deleted anyone I didn’t know, like all those followers that company found….they were gone too. I want to only see content that feeds my soul. And I hope that my content does the same for you. If it doesn’t, trust me when I say this…..I am ok with you hitting the unfollow button. I have learned that I am not for everyone and I don’t take it personally anymore.
On January 28th I hit the delete buttons for Instagram and Facebook. January 28th, 29th, 30th, 31st….were hard days….to me social media was like a drug. An addiction. I was so used to grabbing my phone and clicking those apps. When they weren’t there anymore it was like a limb was missing from my body. It was an interesting thing to experience. After those first 4 or 5 days, it started to get easier and easier every day.
I decided I would spend this time instead getting my websites built and to a place that helps build my business and podcast reach through something I own, which are my website domains. We don’t own our content on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. So at anytime these companies can take everything down and you’re basically screwed. That has been proven a few times in the past couple years when they have major outages and it’s like the world stands still and everyone is freaking out because they can’t do business anymore. I have made an intention to have social media as a marketing tool for my business and podcast and not as the end all, be all. Everything will reside on my websites so if you want to know what’s going on in my life, my business, my podcast….you will find it there.
I have also made an intention to use social media to share my personal life in a different way as well. For instagram, I will mostly share my personal stuff in “Stories” – which if you aren’t aware what those are, they are those circles at the top of the screen. If you see my profile photo up there with a circle around it, that means there are stories that I am sharing. I like to use stories to share photos and videos of my family, funny memes or jokes, inspirational quotes, and so on. The feeds in both Instagram and Facebook for my mstiffvaughan account will mainly be used for my soul coaching business going forward. With the odd personal post here and there. Because I want people to know the person behind the business and who they will be working with.
Will I be back to social media? Oh I am sure I will be and likely in March. But like I said, it will be with more intention. This time around I won’t be posting things to see the number of likes I get and if a certain person or influencer liked my content. I have been posting on my podcast social media pages because I want you all to know about the incredible people I have had on my show. But I don’t do this through the app on my phone, it’s through a scheduling program. I tell you this so you know there are ways to keep your content flowing for critical things but still take a necessary break.
I want to be clear about one thing that social media has done for me that I am so incredibly grateful for. It has connected me to hundreds of people, many of whom I now consider friends and some of them very important people in my life. Without these platforms I wouldn’t have met them and so I will always be grateful for the way social media connects people. Now it’s time to ensure those connections are with people and accounts that bring me joy.
I am happy to announce that both my websites are ready to go and I’d love if you’d check them out! The websites are www.mstiffvaughan.com and www.hardbeautifuljourney.com.
Mstiffvaughan is my coaching website with a page about my group coaching program that will be starting at the end of March. I hope you will check it out and join me!! This website also has a blog which has posts about my coaching and personal life. It also has a page with all my favourite things and recommendations for many things including books I love, podcasts I listen to, companies I recommend for business and podcasting and much more.
Hardbeautifuljourney is going to have a few things on there as this will be the website for our foundation once it is started. For now it mainly has all podcast content and a blog with detailed information from each episode. There is also a spot where you can apply to be on my podcast, what you can expect if you do come on my show and also instructions on how to leave a review (cuz remember reviews are very important to podcasters). In the future this website will have pages for merchandise as well as events that we’ll be holding to raise money for specific mental health initiatives close to our hearts. All in honour of my big brother Cory, who passed away on October 27, 2021.
If you know someone who would enjoy this episode, please share with them! I appreciate every single listener and am grateful for you. Today I am also grateful for the clarity that I have received over the past month and the inspiration I have received from my soul peeps. They never steer me in the wrong direction….
I am finally just taking the time to shut up and listen.
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Thanks for listening,
Tiff
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